SCROOGE GOES BLOWER
deleted by mistake. Here goes I will try to write it down again.
IT`S CHRISTMAS 2014 AND AGAIN, AS LAST YEAR, WE`RE FLIES ON THE WALL IN THE OFFICE OF THE TRICKY C.E.O. OF THE VINTAGE CAR EMPORIUM IN BENTLEYLAND, EBENEZER SCROOGE.
SCROOGE IS SITTING IN HIS USUAL WORK POSITION WITH FEET ON DESK AND HIS SHAKY HAND HOLDING A FULL MUG OF CHEAP WHISKY. THINGS HAD TAKEN A TURN FOR THE BETTER DURING THE YEAR AND ALTHOUGH CUSTOMERS FOR BENTLEY RESTORATION HAD FALLEN, THE COMPANY WAS RUNNING AT A PROFIT.
AS HE GLANCED AROUND THE OFFICE HIS GAZE FELL UPON BOB SCRATCHIT`S VICTORIAN HIGH DESK AND STOOL, THE STOOL WAS A BIT LIKE "OLD NUMBER SEVEN" NOT MUCH OF THE ORIGINAL CONSTRUCTION REMAINED AND THE LATEST REPAIR HAD BEEN MADE BY NAILING SOME M.D.F. TO ONE OF THE RICKETY LEGS. SCRATCHIT WASN`T IN THE OFFICE TODAY AS HE WAS AT THE HAIRDRESSER HAVING HIS ANNUAL HAIRCUT PRIOR TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY.
NEARBY, HANGING FROM THE WALL, WAS TINY TIM`S DIMINUTIVE CRUTCH, AFTER THE MEMORABLE VISIT BY JACOB MARLEY`S GHOST. SCROOGE HAD TAKEN CARE OF TINY TIM TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT HE NOW RESEMBLED A BRICK OUTHOUSE AND NOW USED THE CRUTCH TO BASH OUT THE ALLOY PANELS FOR BENTLEY REPAIRS. HIS OTHER JOB WAS TO TALK TO CUSTOMERS THAT DARED TO COMPLAIN.
GETTING UP FROM THE DESK. SCROOGE WANDERED UP TO THE WINDOW THAT LOOKED OUT INTO THE WORKSHOP AND FOCUSED ON THE TABLEAU OF WAX FIGURES SURROUNDING THE FAKE BENTLEY. THE HEAT WAVE DURING THE SUMMER HAD HAD A BAD EFFECT ON THE MECHANIC BASED ON MARGARET THATCHER`S EFFIGY. SHE HAD NOW WILTED SO THAT HER HEAD WAS WEDGED BETWEEN THE PAPIER MACHE SLOPERS AND HER ARM THAT HAD POINTED AT THEM WAS NOW POINTING AT THE SHAH. NOBODY SEEMED TO NOTICE THIS, PROBABLY BECAUSE BENTLEY MECHANICS HAVE THE REPUTATION THAT ANYTHING GOES.
SCROOGE IS SITTING IN HIS USUAL WORK POSITION WITH FEET ON DESK AND HIS SHAKY HAND HOLDING A FULL MUG OF CHEAP WHISKY. THINGS HAD TAKEN A TURN FOR THE BETTER DURING THE YEAR AND ALTHOUGH CUSTOMERS FOR BENTLEY RESTORATION HAD FALLEN, THE COMPANY WAS RUNNING AT A PROFIT.
AS HE GLANCED AROUND THE OFFICE HIS GAZE FELL UPON BOB SCRATCHIT`S VICTORIAN HIGH DESK AND STOOL, THE STOOL WAS A BIT LIKE "OLD NUMBER SEVEN" NOT MUCH OF THE ORIGINAL CONSTRUCTION REMAINED AND THE LATEST REPAIR HAD BEEN MADE BY NAILING SOME M.D.F. TO ONE OF THE RICKETY LEGS. SCRATCHIT WASN`T IN THE OFFICE TODAY AS HE WAS AT THE HAIRDRESSER HAVING HIS ANNUAL HAIRCUT PRIOR TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY.
NEARBY, HANGING FROM THE WALL, WAS TINY TIM`S DIMINUTIVE CRUTCH, AFTER THE MEMORABLE VISIT BY JACOB MARLEY`S GHOST. SCROOGE HAD TAKEN CARE OF TINY TIM TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT HE NOW RESEMBLED A BRICK OUTHOUSE AND NOW USED THE CRUTCH TO BASH OUT THE ALLOY PANELS FOR BENTLEY REPAIRS. HIS OTHER JOB WAS TO TALK TO CUSTOMERS THAT DARED TO COMPLAIN.
GETTING UP FROM THE DESK. SCROOGE WANDERED UP TO THE WINDOW THAT LOOKED OUT INTO THE WORKSHOP AND FOCUSED ON THE TABLEAU OF WAX FIGURES SURROUNDING THE FAKE BENTLEY. THE HEAT WAVE DURING THE SUMMER HAD HAD A BAD EFFECT ON THE MECHANIC BASED ON MARGARET THATCHER`S EFFIGY. SHE HAD NOW WILTED SO THAT HER HEAD WAS WEDGED BETWEEN THE PAPIER MACHE SLOPERS AND HER ARM THAT HAD POINTED AT THEM WAS NOW POINTING AT THE SHAH. NOBODY SEEMED TO NOTICE THIS, PROBABLY BECAUSE BENTLEY MECHANICS HAVE THE REPUTATION THAT ANYTHING GOES.
NOW BACK IN HIS CHAIR HE LEANED BACK TOOK ANOTHER SLURP FROM THE MUG AND ATTEMPTED TO SEARCH HIS MEMORY FOR SOMETHING NICE TO THINK BACK ON AS HE PREPARED FOR HIS AFTERNOON NAP. HIS RATHER DEPLETED SYNAPSES STRUGGLED WITH THIS TASK, THEN SUDDENLY, THE MEMORIES FROM HIS RECENT TRIP TO CHINA MANAGED TO SLIP INTO HIS CONCIOUS MIND.
THE FACTORY IN SHANGHAI HAD GONE THROUGH A METAMORPHOSIS THAT HAD SEEN THE NAME CHANGED TO "BENTLEY BLOWER INC." WHICH NOW SPECIALISED IN THE DESIGN AND MANUFACTURE OF BIRKIN BLOWERS FOR THE MIDDLE EAST AND ASIAN COUNTRIES. THE NEW C.E.O. WAS HUNG LO THE PARTNER IN SCROOGE`S VINTAGE BENTLEY RESTORATION SCAM. HUNG LO HAD SOLD HIS CHINESE TAKE AWAY BUSINESS IN BENTLEYLAND AND HAD BOUGHT UP THE FACTORY IN SHANGHAI LOCK, STOCK AND BARREL.
SCROOGE HAD RECEIVED AN INVITATION TO THE FACTORY FOR THE PRESS UNVEILING OF THE NEW BLOWER AND WAS MET AT THE AIRPORT BY THE COMPANY CHAUFFEUR IN THE COMPANY LIMMO. AS THEY NEARED THE FACTORY SCROOGE WAS STRUCK BY THE CHANGES THAT HAD BEEN MADE TO THE AREA, FAMILIES WERE NOW PIC-NICKING UNDER SHADY PALM TREES ON THE SANDY BANKS OF THE RIVER WHERE FAT CARP WERE SWIMMING AND FEEDING FROM THE HANDS OF THE CHILDREN.
HE MENTIONED THIS TO THE CHAUFFEUR WHO SMILED AT HIM VIA THE REAR VIEW MIRROR AND PUSHED A BUTTON ON THE DASH, SUDDENLY, THE CHARMING HOLAGRAMS DISAPPEARED AND THE REAL STATE OF AFFAIRS WAS REVEALED. THE RIVER BANKS WERE STILL STREWN WITH RUBBISH AND DEAD RATS AND THE RIVER WAS TOXIC. SCROOGE GAGGED ON THE MALAVENT ODOUR THAT WAS PERMEATING THE LIMMO INTERIOR, BUT HAPPILY, THE CHAUFFEUR TURNED ON THE HOLAGRAMS AGAIN AND THE SMELL OF NEW MOWN GRASS FLOWED BACK IN. HE EXPLAINED THAT THE CUSTOMERS THAT CAME TO THE FACTORY WERE NOT INTERESTED IN REALITY, A FACT THAT WAS MIRRORED BY THEIR CHOICE OF CAR.
SCROOGE HAD RECEIVED AN INVITATION TO THE FACTORY FOR THE PRESS UNVEILING OF THE NEW BLOWER AND WAS MET AT THE AIRPORT BY THE COMPANY CHAUFFEUR IN THE COMPANY LIMMO. AS THEY NEARED THE FACTORY SCROOGE WAS STRUCK BY THE CHANGES THAT HAD BEEN MADE TO THE AREA, FAMILIES WERE NOW PIC-NICKING UNDER SHADY PALM TREES ON THE SANDY BANKS OF THE RIVER WHERE FAT CARP WERE SWIMMING AND FEEDING FROM THE HANDS OF THE CHILDREN.
HE MENTIONED THIS TO THE CHAUFFEUR WHO SMILED AT HIM VIA THE REAR VIEW MIRROR AND PUSHED A BUTTON ON THE DASH, SUDDENLY, THE CHARMING HOLAGRAMS DISAPPEARED AND THE REAL STATE OF AFFAIRS WAS REVEALED. THE RIVER BANKS WERE STILL STREWN WITH RUBBISH AND DEAD RATS AND THE RIVER WAS TOXIC. SCROOGE GAGGED ON THE MALAVENT ODOUR THAT WAS PERMEATING THE LIMMO INTERIOR, BUT HAPPILY, THE CHAUFFEUR TURNED ON THE HOLAGRAMS AGAIN AND THE SMELL OF NEW MOWN GRASS FLOWED BACK IN. HE EXPLAINED THAT THE CUSTOMERS THAT CAME TO THE FACTORY WERE NOT INTERESTED IN REALITY, A FACT THAT WAS MIRRORED BY THEIR CHOICE OF CAR.
AT THE FACTORY THE LIMMO DROVE INTO AN AIR LOCK AND SCROOGE WAS WELCOMED BY HUNG LO DRESSED IN A MORNING SUIT AND TAKEN TO RECEPTION IN A LARGE FOYER THAT SCROOGE RECOGNISED AS THE FORMER CANTEEN WHERE THE WORKERS HAD ONCE SLURPED THEIR NOODLES. AT RECEPTION HIS DETAILS WERE TAKEN DOWN BY A GORGEOUS RECEPTIONIST WEARING A FIGURE HUGGING LEATHER DRIVING SUIT AND HELMET. SHE PINNED THE VISITORS ID TO HIS LAPEL AND HER PERFUME "RIVE GAUCHE" ALMOST MADE HIM SWOON IN ECSTASY. THEN HE WAS LED INTO AN ANTE CHAMBER WHERE THERE WERE LINED UP WAX EFFIGIES OF BENTLEY PERSONALITIES. PROJECTED ON AND FILLING THE FOUR WALLS WERE PERIOD FILMS DEPICTING THE VINTAGE BENTLEYS RACING AT LE MANS AND HIGH UP ON THE BANKING AT BROOKLANDS. THE ROAR OF THE EXHAUSTS WERE PERHAPS A LITTLE LOUD FOR SCROOGE BUT THE EFFECT WAS STUNNING.
HUNG LO WALKED UP TO THE FIRST FIGURE, A GOOD LIKENESS OF CHAIRMAN MAU, WHO EXTENDED HIS HAND AND SAID "WELCOME HUNG LO". THEN IT WAS SCROOGE`S TURN, AS HE FACED MAU AN ELECTRONIC CUE FROM HIS ID CARD TRIGGERED THE MECHANISM THAT EXTENDED MAU`S HAND WHICH SCROOGE GRASPED AND SHOOK. AT THE SAME TIME,IN AN ELECTRONIC VOICE, MAU SAID "WELCOME MR. SCROOGE". SCROOGE WITHDREW HIS HAND FROM THE PLASTIC GRASP AND WENT TO THE NEXT FIGURE W.O. BENTLEY, THEN IT WAS BARNATO FOLLOWED BY BERTIE KENSINGTON-MOIR, FRANK CLEMENTS AND THEN HALF A DOZEN OR SO OF MINOR PERSONALITIES.
THE RACING MECHANICS WERE STATIC AND GROUPED AROUND A PLASTIC BENTLEY IN A VARIETY OF WORK POSES.
HUNG LO WALKED UP TO THE FIRST FIGURE, A GOOD LIKENESS OF CHAIRMAN MAU, WHO EXTENDED HIS HAND AND SAID "WELCOME HUNG LO". THEN IT WAS SCROOGE`S TURN, AS HE FACED MAU AN ELECTRONIC CUE FROM HIS ID CARD TRIGGERED THE MECHANISM THAT EXTENDED MAU`S HAND WHICH SCROOGE GRASPED AND SHOOK. AT THE SAME TIME,IN AN ELECTRONIC VOICE, MAU SAID "WELCOME MR. SCROOGE". SCROOGE WITHDREW HIS HAND FROM THE PLASTIC GRASP AND WENT TO THE NEXT FIGURE W.O. BENTLEY, THEN IT WAS BARNATO FOLLOWED BY BERTIE KENSINGTON-MOIR, FRANK CLEMENTS AND THEN HALF A DOZEN OR SO OF MINOR PERSONALITIES.
THE RACING MECHANICS WERE STATIC AND GROUPED AROUND A PLASTIC BENTLEY IN A VARIETY OF WORK POSES.
THE ANTE CHAMBER OPENED OUT INTO A LARGE SPACE IN WHICH A RE-CREATION OF THE INTERIOR OF THE CAFE DE PARIS LEICESTER SQUARE, CIRCA 1920, HAD BEEN BUILT. SEATED AT THE TABLES WERE ATTRACTIVE YOUNG LADIES IN SKIMPY FLAPPER DRESSES AND YOUNG MEN CLAD IN EVENING DRESS. A BAND STRUCK UP THE "CHARLESTON" AND THE DANCERS PAIRED UP AND WHIRLED AROUND THE DANCE FLOOR. THEN IT WAS LADIES CHOICE AND SEVERAL OF THE FLAPPERS MADE A BEE LINE FOR SCROOGE AND DRAGGED HIM ONTO THE FLOOR WHERE HE UNWILLINGLY WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF THE DANCE THEN HUNG LO ACCIDENTALLY TROD ON HIS TOE DURING SOME EXCESSIVE GYRATIONS AND SCROOGE LEAPT INTO THE AIR AT THE SAME TIME MAKING THE HAND CROSSOVERS AT HIS KNEES, THE OTHER DANCERS CROWDED ROUND HIM CLAPPING TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC.
AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES OF THIS, SCROOGE`S DODGY KNEE JOINTS BEGAN TO GIVE WAY AND HE HAD TO BE HELPED BACK TO THE TABLE, WHERE HE COLLAPSED ON A CHAIR. AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES HUNG LO ARRIVED BACK AT THE TABLE CARRYING A TRAY WITH A BOTTLE AND SOME GLASSES ON IT WHICH HE PLACED ON THE TABLE. SCROOGE SURVEYED THE BOTTLE AND WAS PLEASED TO SEE THE NAME "LAGAVULIN" A NOW QUITE RARE ISLAY WHISKY DRUNK BY CONNOISSEURS. THEN HE LOOKED ASKANCE AT THE LINE UNDER THE NAME WHICH READ "300 YEAR OLD WHISKY AS DRUNK BY BONNIE PRINCE CHARLIE".
HUNG LO READING SCROOGE`S FACE, EXPLAINED THAT THIS SPECIAL WHISKY THAT COST A GRAND A BOTTLE HAD BEEN SYNTHESIZED BY THE CHINESE CHEMISTS FROM A SAMPLE EXCAVATED FROM AN ARCHEALOGICAL DIG AT THE DISTILLERY IN SCOTLAND. APPARANTLY THE ALMOST FULL BOTTLE HAD BEEN FOUND TOGETHER WITH A GLASS AND PARCHMENT EXPLAINING THAT PRINCE CHARLIE HAD DRUNK FROM THIS VERY BOTTLE AND GLASS IN 1745.. HUNG LO DID NOT EXPLAIN HOW THE SAMPLE HAD BEEN OBTAINED, AND POURED A DRAM FROM THE BOTTLE INTO AN ANTIQUE TUMBLER AND PROFFERED IT TO SCROOGE WHO WENT DIZZY FROM THE BOUQUET AND THE TASTE SENT AN ELECTRIC SHOCK COURSING THROUGH HIS BODY THAT EXPLODED IN HIS BRAIN. HE LEANT BACK OVER THE BACK OF THE CHAIR AND FOR ONCE WAS LOST FOR WORDS JUST RELAXING WHILST STARING AT THE CEILING, HIS BODY PALPITATING. AFTER A WHILE, WHEN SCROOGE HAD COME DOWN TO EARTH, HUNG LO MENTIONED TO HIM THAT HE WAS GOING TO OFFER HIM A DEALERSHIP FOR BENTLEYLAND AND THAT SCROOGE WOULD HAVE TO WORK CLOSELY WITH THE FACTORY TO DEVELOP THE CAR FOR THE EUROPEAN MARKET
AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES OF THIS, SCROOGE`S DODGY KNEE JOINTS BEGAN TO GIVE WAY AND HE HAD TO BE HELPED BACK TO THE TABLE, WHERE HE COLLAPSED ON A CHAIR. AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES HUNG LO ARRIVED BACK AT THE TABLE CARRYING A TRAY WITH A BOTTLE AND SOME GLASSES ON IT WHICH HE PLACED ON THE TABLE. SCROOGE SURVEYED THE BOTTLE AND WAS PLEASED TO SEE THE NAME "LAGAVULIN" A NOW QUITE RARE ISLAY WHISKY DRUNK BY CONNOISSEURS. THEN HE LOOKED ASKANCE AT THE LINE UNDER THE NAME WHICH READ "300 YEAR OLD WHISKY AS DRUNK BY BONNIE PRINCE CHARLIE".
HUNG LO READING SCROOGE`S FACE, EXPLAINED THAT THIS SPECIAL WHISKY THAT COST A GRAND A BOTTLE HAD BEEN SYNTHESIZED BY THE CHINESE CHEMISTS FROM A SAMPLE EXCAVATED FROM AN ARCHEALOGICAL DIG AT THE DISTILLERY IN SCOTLAND. APPARANTLY THE ALMOST FULL BOTTLE HAD BEEN FOUND TOGETHER WITH A GLASS AND PARCHMENT EXPLAINING THAT PRINCE CHARLIE HAD DRUNK FROM THIS VERY BOTTLE AND GLASS IN 1745.. HUNG LO DID NOT EXPLAIN HOW THE SAMPLE HAD BEEN OBTAINED, AND POURED A DRAM FROM THE BOTTLE INTO AN ANTIQUE TUMBLER AND PROFFERED IT TO SCROOGE WHO WENT DIZZY FROM THE BOUQUET AND THE TASTE SENT AN ELECTRIC SHOCK COURSING THROUGH HIS BODY THAT EXPLODED IN HIS BRAIN. HE LEANT BACK OVER THE BACK OF THE CHAIR AND FOR ONCE WAS LOST FOR WORDS JUST RELAXING WHILST STARING AT THE CEILING, HIS BODY PALPITATING. AFTER A WHILE, WHEN SCROOGE HAD COME DOWN TO EARTH, HUNG LO MENTIONED TO HIM THAT HE WAS GOING TO OFFER HIM A DEALERSHIP FOR BENTLEYLAND AND THAT SCROOGE WOULD HAVE TO WORK CLOSELY WITH THE FACTORY TO DEVELOP THE CAR FOR THE EUROPEAN MARKET
AT THAT MOMENT HUNG LO GLANCED AT HIS WATCH AND SAID THAT THE PRESENTATION WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN, A FANFARE RUNG OUT AND WITH A RASP OF EXHAUST THE NEW BENTLEY BURST THROUGH A LARGE PAPER WALL ON WHICH A HUGE PHOTO OF WO AND MAU SHAKING HANDS HAD BEEN PRINTED. HUNG LO WAITED UNTIL THE FRENETIC ACTIVITY, CLAPPING AND THE CAMERA FLASHES HAD DIED DOWN, WALKED OVER TO THE CAR, PICKED UP A MICROPHONE AND STARTED THE PRESENTATION. HE EXPLAINED THAT THIS CAR, ALTHOUGH IT RESEMBLED A VINTAGE BENTLEY WAS THE MOST ADVANCED IN THE WORLD. THE ENGINE IS PROPELLED BY HYDROGEN AND THE NEW PATENTED HYDROGEN PRODUCING UNIT IS INCORPORATED IN THE CAR SO THAT FUEL COSTS ARE NIL AND THE CAR ONLY NEEDS SERVICING AT 100,000 MILE INTERVALS. THE CROWD OF ONLOOKERS GASPED AT THIS AND GAVE A NOISY OVATION. HUNG LO WAITED UNTIL THE APPLAUSE DIED DOWN AND CONTINUING HIS PRESENTATION, EXPLAINING THAT ANOTHER OF THE UNIQUE FEATURES WAS THE ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE COLOUR OF THE CAR AT WILL BY TWISTING A KNOB ON THE DASH, HE DEMONSTRATED THIS AND THE COLOUR OF THE BODYWORK CHANGED FROM BRG TO RED AND TO BLUE THEN QUICKLY THROUGH THE SPECTRUM ENDING THE DEMONSTRATION BY HAVING THE BODYWORK FLASH LIKE DISCO LIGHTS.
WITH A KNOWING SMILE HE CONTINUED HIS SPEECH BY SAYING THAT THIS FEATURE MIGHT BE USEFUL IF BEING FOLLOWED BY THE POLICE AND THAT IT HAD BEEN DEVELOPED BY CHINESE SCIENTISTS FROM THE INCREDIBLE CUTTLE FISH THAT COULD CHANGE THE COLOUR OF IT`S SKIN TO BLEND IN WITH THE BACKGROUND, ANOTHER FUTURE DEVELOPMENT IN THE PIPELINE WOULD BE THE ABILITY TO BECOME INVISIBLE.
WITH A KNOWING SMILE HE CONTINUED HIS SPEECH BY SAYING THAT THIS FEATURE MIGHT BE USEFUL IF BEING FOLLOWED BY THE POLICE AND THAT IT HAD BEEN DEVELOPED BY CHINESE SCIENTISTS FROM THE INCREDIBLE CUTTLE FISH THAT COULD CHANGE THE COLOUR OF IT`S SKIN TO BLEND IN WITH THE BACKGROUND, ANOTHER FUTURE DEVELOPMENT IN THE PIPELINE WOULD BE THE ABILITY TO BECOME INVISIBLE.
WHILE THE PRESENTATION WAS GOING ON, SCROOGE WAS TAKING A CLOSE LOOK AT THE BLOWER AND LOOKING AT THE WINGED MOTIF ON THE RADIATOR HE WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THAT INSTEAD OF THE "B" IN THE CENTRE THERE WAS A PICTURE OF MAU`S HEAD WITH THE WINGS SPROUTING FROM EITHER SIDE! THIS WOULD NEVER DO HE MUTTERED TO HIMSELF. UNDER THE BONNET THE RATHER SMALL ENGINE AND HYDROGEN UNIT WERE HIDDEN BELOW A VERY CONVINCING SHELL OF A BLOWER ENGINE.
AFTER THE PRESENTATION, HUNG LO CAME UP TO SCROOGE AN SAID THAT IT WAS TIME FOR A TEST DRIVE, SO THEY ALL CLAMBERED INTO THE CAR WHERE SCROOGE FOUND HIMSELF IN THE BACK SEAT WEDGED BETWEEN TWO GORGEOUS FLAPPERS. EACH OF THEM WAS GIVEN A DRIVING HELMET TO WEAR AND HUNG LO TALKED THEM THROUGH THE SPECIAL FEATURES OF THE HELMET. THE MAIN USE, APART FROM PROTECTING THE HEAD AREA, WAS TO DIRECT A STREAM OF SCENTED FILTERED AIR AROUND THE NOSE WHICH WOULD BE USED WHILST DRIVING THROUGH THE INDUSTRIAL AND SLUM AREAS OF TOWN. SCROOGE CHOSE A COMBINATION OF ROSE PETAL AND FRESHLY MOWN GRASS PERFUMES.
AFTER THE PRESENTATION, HUNG LO CAME UP TO SCROOGE AN SAID THAT IT WAS TIME FOR A TEST DRIVE, SO THEY ALL CLAMBERED INTO THE CAR WHERE SCROOGE FOUND HIMSELF IN THE BACK SEAT WEDGED BETWEEN TWO GORGEOUS FLAPPERS. EACH OF THEM WAS GIVEN A DRIVING HELMET TO WEAR AND HUNG LO TALKED THEM THROUGH THE SPECIAL FEATURES OF THE HELMET. THE MAIN USE, APART FROM PROTECTING THE HEAD AREA, WAS TO DIRECT A STREAM OF SCENTED FILTERED AIR AROUND THE NOSE WHICH WOULD BE USED WHILST DRIVING THROUGH THE INDUSTRIAL AND SLUM AREAS OF TOWN. SCROOGE CHOSE A COMBINATION OF ROSE PETAL AND FRESHLY MOWN GRASS PERFUMES.
HUNG LO STEERED THE CAR CAREFULLY THROUGH THE CONGLOMERATION BEFORE REACHING THE CENTRE OF SHANGHAI AND INDICATING TO HIS PASSENGERS TO DEPLOY THE EAR DEFENDERS, HIS FACE TOOK ON A DIABOLICAL EXPRESSION AS HE TURNED THE EXHAUST NOISE KNOB ON THE DASH TO MAXIMUM.
THE EXHAUST EMITTED A WINDOW SHATTERING ROAR WHICH MADE THE AMBLING DONKEYS REAR UP, DEPOSITING THEIR CARGO ONTO THE STREET, THE MOPEDS AND CYCLISTS COLLIDED IN A MELEE OF TWISTED MACHINES AND BODIES AND THE PEDESTRIANS RAN AMOK CRUSHING THE UNLUCKY ONES THAT HAD LOST THEIR BALANCE UNDERFOOT, YET THE BENTLEY WAS ONLY TRAVELLING AT 25 MPH!
THE EXHAUST EMITTED A WINDOW SHATTERING ROAR WHICH MADE THE AMBLING DONKEYS REAR UP, DEPOSITING THEIR CARGO ONTO THE STREET, THE MOPEDS AND CYCLISTS COLLIDED IN A MELEE OF TWISTED MACHINES AND BODIES AND THE PEDESTRIANS RAN AMOK CRUSHING THE UNLUCKY ONES THAT HAD LOST THEIR BALANCE UNDERFOOT, YET THE BENTLEY WAS ONLY TRAVELLING AT 25 MPH!
JUST AT THAT MOMENT, AS SCROOGE`S MEMORIES WERE IN FULL SWING, HIS SYNAPSES SUDDENLY ROUTED ANOTHER ANOTHER SLIGHTLY LATER MEMORY INTO HIS CONSCIOUS MIND OF HIS SEVEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER POPPY, BURSTING INTO THE OFFICE IN FLOODS OF TEARS. SHE JUMPED INTO HIS ARMS WETTING HIS CHEEK WITH HER TEARS.
POPPY WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILD HAVING DEEP BLUE EYES AND A COMPLEXION THE COLOUR OF BONE CHINA. SHE WAS THE OFFSPRING WITH HIS LATEST TROPHY WIFE, AN EX PAGE THREE GIRL IN THE BENTLEYLAND DAILY MAIL, ALTHOUGH MOST PEOPLE DOUBTED SCROOGE`S CONTRIBUTION TO HER PATERNITY!
SCROOGE TRIED TO CONSOLE POPPY BY STROKING HER PEACH LIKE CHEEK WITH HIS GNARLED OIL INGRAINED FINGERS. FINALLY POPPY CALMED DOWN AND WAS ABLE TO TALK, SHE EXPLAINED BETWEEN SNUFFLES THAT HER CLASSMATES HAD BEEN TEASING HER ABOUT THE SPEED SIX THAT SCROOGE TOOK HER TO SCHOOL IN., SAYING THAT IT WAS A MK6 SPECIAL. THE PROVIDER OF THIS UNWELCOME INFORMATION WAS CLASSMATE DIRK WHITTINGTON-SMYTHE WHO PROUDLY PROCLAIMED THAT HIS DAD`S BLOWER WAS THE REAL THING AND THAT THE MK6 SPECIAL WAS A PILE OF JUNK!.
POPPY WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILD HAVING DEEP BLUE EYES AND A COMPLEXION THE COLOUR OF BONE CHINA. SHE WAS THE OFFSPRING WITH HIS LATEST TROPHY WIFE, AN EX PAGE THREE GIRL IN THE BENTLEYLAND DAILY MAIL, ALTHOUGH MOST PEOPLE DOUBTED SCROOGE`S CONTRIBUTION TO HER PATERNITY!
SCROOGE TRIED TO CONSOLE POPPY BY STROKING HER PEACH LIKE CHEEK WITH HIS GNARLED OIL INGRAINED FINGERS. FINALLY POPPY CALMED DOWN AND WAS ABLE TO TALK, SHE EXPLAINED BETWEEN SNUFFLES THAT HER CLASSMATES HAD BEEN TEASING HER ABOUT THE SPEED SIX THAT SCROOGE TOOK HER TO SCHOOL IN., SAYING THAT IT WAS A MK6 SPECIAL. THE PROVIDER OF THIS UNWELCOME INFORMATION WAS CLASSMATE DIRK WHITTINGTON-SMYTHE WHO PROUDLY PROCLAIMED THAT HIS DAD`S BLOWER WAS THE REAL THING AND THAT THE MK6 SPECIAL WAS A PILE OF JUNK!.
SCROOGE WAS WELL AWARE THAT HIS SPEED SIX WAS AN ABSOLUTE FAKE BUT HE ALSO KNEW THAT THE BLOWER IN QUESTION WAS A PRODUCT OF A DODGY BENTLEY RESTORER WELL KNOWN FOR PRODUCING FAKE BLOWERS AND NOT TOO WORRIED ABOUT ORIGINALITY. SCROOGE HAD MET WILLIAM, THE FATHER OF YOUNG DIRK WHITTINGTON-SMYTHE AND THEY HAD RECOGNISED IMMEDIATELY THAT EACH OTHER WAS A BLAGGER. FURTHER INVESTIGATION HAD TURNED UP THE FACT THAT THE REAL FAMILY NAME WAS JONES.
BILL JONES HAD EMIGRATED TO BENTLEYLAND WHEN ON THE RUN AFTER HAVING SWINDLED HIS BUSINESS PARTNER OUT OF OVER A MILLION POUNDS, HIS SECOND HAND CAR LOT FRONTED THE LONDON ROAD WHERE MOST OF SECOND HAND CAR DEALERS WERE LOCATED.
BILL JONES HAD EMIGRATED TO BENTLEYLAND WHEN ON THE RUN AFTER HAVING SWINDLED HIS BUSINESS PARTNER OUT OF OVER A MILLION POUNDS, HIS SECOND HAND CAR LOT FRONTED THE LONDON ROAD WHERE MOST OF SECOND HAND CAR DEALERS WERE LOCATED.
POPPY HAD CALMED DOWN ENOUGH TO ENABLE SCROOGE TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT HE WOULD TAKE MATTERS IN HAND AND PRODUCE A NEW CAR TO BLOW THE OFFENDING BLOWER OUT OF THE WATER. POPPY GAVE HIM A DAZZLING SMILE AND A KISS BEFORE SKIPPING OUT OF THE OFFICE.
SCROOGE WENT TO THE SAFE, UNLOCKED IT, TOOK OUT THE BOTTLE OF PRINCE CHARLIE WHISKY THAT HUNG LO HAD GIVEN HIM AND POURED HIMSELF A SMALL DRAM OF THE PRECIOUS LIQUID IN ORDER TO CLEAR HIS THOUGHTS. AFTER THE MAGICAL CONVULSIONS HAD ABATED, HE SAT AT THE DESK HEAD IN HANDS TO THINK THINGS THROUGH.
SCROOGE WENT TO THE SAFE, UNLOCKED IT, TOOK OUT THE BOTTLE OF PRINCE CHARLIE WHISKY THAT HUNG LO HAD GIVEN HIM AND POURED HIMSELF A SMALL DRAM OF THE PRECIOUS LIQUID IN ORDER TO CLEAR HIS THOUGHTS. AFTER THE MAGICAL CONVULSIONS HAD ABATED, HE SAT AT THE DESK HEAD IN HANDS TO THINK THINGS THROUGH.
IN THE LAST DECADE BLOWERS HAD PROLIFERATED AT AN AMAZING RATE AND NOW WERE TEN A PENNY. THIS TREND HAD BEGUN WHEN JOHN BENTLEY HAD MANUFACTURED A BATCH OF BLOWER UNITS WHICH HAD BEEN SNAPPED UP BY STATUS HUNGRY BENTLEY POSERS WHO COULD NOT AFFORD THE REAL THING! WHAT THEY DID WAS TO TAKE SOME SWEET OLD GRANNY OF A THREE LITRE AND CONVERT THE ENGINE TO DRIVE THE BLOWER UNIT, REPLACE THE ORIGINAL BODY WITH A BIRKIN LOOK ALIKE ONE, NOT FORGETTING TO HAVE THE INDENTATIONS FOR THE EXPERIMENTAL POSITION OF THE BRAKE PULL ON LEVER ADDED. ALSO THE SLAB OF STEEL PLATE BOLTED TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE CHASSIS SIDE MEMBERS TO MAKE IT LOOK KOSHER. THE DASHBOARDS WITH SAUCER SIZED INSTRUMENTS AND PATHETIC COPIES OF THE BLOWER OILER DRIP FEEDS. THESE QUESTIONABLE ADDITIONS MAY HAVE IMPRESSED DUMB BLONDES BUT ARE A CONTINUING SOURCE OF AMUSEMENT FOR THE COGNOSCENTI.
SCROOGE HAMMERED OUT A PLAN IN HIS MIND, HE COULD NOT AFFORD THE HUNDRED GRAND PLUS TO BUY A NEW BLOWER AND HEAVY CRANK ENGINE SO THAT THIS OPTION WAS OUT OF THE QUESTION. HOWEVER HE HAD SEEN AN ADVERT IN THE "AUTOJUMBLER" FROM A COMPANY THAT COULD PROVIDE NEW EMPTY BLOWER CASINGS. THESE CASINGS WERE MADE UP FROM BASIC ALUMINIUM CASTINGS THAT COULD BE SANDWICHED TOGETHER TO ANY REQUIRED LENGTH.
THE PLAN WAS TO PURCHASE ENOUGH CASTINGS TO CONSTRUCT A BLOWER DOUBLE THE LENGTH OF THE ORIGINAL AND THE COST WOULD BE ABOUT THREE HUNDRED QUID. WITH A BIT OF FETTLING THIS COULD LOOK BETTER THAN THE REAL THING, ESPECIALLY WITH FOUR WOODEN SU`S FITTED!
SCROOGE HAD E MAILED THE FACTORY IN SHANGHAI AND ORDERED SEVERAL ITEMS TO BE SENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE ALSO ORDERING THE DOUBLE LENGTH BLOWER CASING FROM THE MANUFACTURER IN THE UK..HE CALLED IN TINY TIM AND SET HIM THE TASK OF MODIFYING THE FRONT OF THE MK6 CHASSIS, DOING AWAY WITH THE IFS AND ALTERING THE CHASSIS TO TAKE A BEAM AXLE AS THE IFS WAS AN INSTANT CLUE THAT THE CHASSIS WAS MK6. THE BODYWORK HAD TO BE MODIFIED SO TINY TIM STARTED BANGING AWAY WITH HIS CRUTCH UNTIL THE OLD BODY NOW RESEMBLED A BIRKIN, EVEN CAREFULLY CUTTING THOSE INDENTATIONS FOR THE EXPERIMENTAL PULL ON BRAKE LEVERS.
ONE FAULT WITH THE VINTAGE BENTLEY BRAKING SYSTEM IS THAT THE OUTSIDE BRAKE LEVER AT THE FROG UNIT FACES DOWNWARDS AND HAS THE UNFORTUNATE EFFECT OF PARTIALLY RELEASING THE BRAKING FORCE TO THE FRONT BRAKES DUE TO THE AXLE WIND UP UNDER BRAKING.
PUTTING THE BRAKE LEVER FACING UPWARDS HAD THE OPPOSITE EFFECT SO THAT AXLE WIND UP DURING BRAKING ACTUALLY PULLED ON THE FRONT BRAKES WITH OBVIOUS ILL EFFECTS AS THE SYSTEM HAD BEEN RETURNED TO STANDARD LEAVING THOSE INDENTATIONS THERE.FOR POSTERITY.
ONE FAULT WITH THE VINTAGE BENTLEY BRAKING SYSTEM IS THAT THE OUTSIDE BRAKE LEVER AT THE FROG UNIT FACES DOWNWARDS AND HAS THE UNFORTUNATE EFFECT OF PARTIALLY RELEASING THE BRAKING FORCE TO THE FRONT BRAKES DUE TO THE AXLE WIND UP UNDER BRAKING.
PUTTING THE BRAKE LEVER FACING UPWARDS HAD THE OPPOSITE EFFECT SO THAT AXLE WIND UP DURING BRAKING ACTUALLY PULLED ON THE FRONT BRAKES WITH OBVIOUS ILL EFFECTS AS THE SYSTEM HAD BEEN RETURNED TO STANDARD LEAVING THOSE INDENTATIONS THERE.FOR POSTERITY.
THIS WORK HAD BEEN IN PROGRESS FOR SEVERAL MONTHS AND WAS NOW COMPLETED, SCROOGE NEEDED THE CAR FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY WHERE HIS ROLE AS FATHER CHRISTMAS WAS TO BRING THE PRESENTS TO THE EVENT AND DISTRIBUTE THEM AMONG THE EXCITED CHILDREN.
LIKE EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD, LIFE WASN`T PERFECT IN BENTLEYLAND, DESPITE APPEARANCES TO THE CONTRARY, BELOW THE SURFACE THERE WERE INSIDIOUS FORCES AT WORK, THE MAIN ONE BEING THE VSCC, NOW THIS BENTLEYLAND GROUP WEREN`T LIKE THOSE LOVABLE CHARACTERS WE SEE BUMBLING AROUND THE VSCC EVENTS. THESE WERE A REFUGEE SPLINTERGROUP THAT HAD SILENTLY, OVER THE YEARS, TAKEN OVER THE ADMINISTRATION OF BENTLEYLAND VEHICLE REGISTRATION.
AS ONLY VEHICLES REGISTERED BEFORE 1931 WERE ALLOWED TO DRIVE ON THE PUBLIC HIGHWAYS IN BENTLEYLAND, THESE EXTREME VSCC OUTCASTS WERE NOW IN CHARGE AND PATROLLED THE STREETS IN SOUPED UP VAUXHALL 30-98`S STOPPING CARS TO CHECK WHETHER THEY HAD BEEN MODIFIED IN ANY WAY.
THE PENALTY FOR ANY INFRINGEMENT WAS THAT THE OFFENDING PARTS WERE IMMEDIATELY REMOVED FROM THE CAR AND IF THIS RENDERED THEM UNDRIVABLE, THEY WERE JUST LEFT BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. THESE WERE THE TYPE OF PEOPLE THAT DIDN`T RECOGNISE THE EXISTENCE OF ANYTHING MADE AFTER 1930, AND TO GIVE AN EXAMPLE, SPENT HOURS ON THE NET TRYING TO BUY OLD STOCKS OF ENGINE OIL, PREFERRING TO REBUILD THEIR ENGINES EVERY 20,000 MILES RATHER THAN USING SYNTHETIC OIL GIVING A MUCH LONGER ENGINE LIFE.
THE ARCH VILLAIN LEADING THE VSCC WAS JEREMY SNYDE-WILKINS WHO RESEMBLED THAT UNDERNOURISHED "CARRY ON" FILM CHARACTER WITH THE NASAL TWANG TO HIS VOICE. HIS MAIN FACIAL EXPRESSION WAS THAT HIS NOSE WAS ALWAYS PUCKERED UP AS THOUGH A LUMP OF OVER RIPE CAMEMBERT WAS DANGLING FROM IT.
SCROOGE KNEW THAT THESE VSCC KILLJOYS WOULD BE OUT IN FULL FORCE THE NIGHT OF THE BENTLEYLAND CHRISTMAS PARTY AND HATCHED OUT A CUNNING PLAN TO THWART THESE JOKERS.
AS ONLY VEHICLES REGISTERED BEFORE 1931 WERE ALLOWED TO DRIVE ON THE PUBLIC HIGHWAYS IN BENTLEYLAND, THESE EXTREME VSCC OUTCASTS WERE NOW IN CHARGE AND PATROLLED THE STREETS IN SOUPED UP VAUXHALL 30-98`S STOPPING CARS TO CHECK WHETHER THEY HAD BEEN MODIFIED IN ANY WAY.
THE PENALTY FOR ANY INFRINGEMENT WAS THAT THE OFFENDING PARTS WERE IMMEDIATELY REMOVED FROM THE CAR AND IF THIS RENDERED THEM UNDRIVABLE, THEY WERE JUST LEFT BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. THESE WERE THE TYPE OF PEOPLE THAT DIDN`T RECOGNISE THE EXISTENCE OF ANYTHING MADE AFTER 1930, AND TO GIVE AN EXAMPLE, SPENT HOURS ON THE NET TRYING TO BUY OLD STOCKS OF ENGINE OIL, PREFERRING TO REBUILD THEIR ENGINES EVERY 20,000 MILES RATHER THAN USING SYNTHETIC OIL GIVING A MUCH LONGER ENGINE LIFE.
THE ARCH VILLAIN LEADING THE VSCC WAS JEREMY SNYDE-WILKINS WHO RESEMBLED THAT UNDERNOURISHED "CARRY ON" FILM CHARACTER WITH THE NASAL TWANG TO HIS VOICE. HIS MAIN FACIAL EXPRESSION WAS THAT HIS NOSE WAS ALWAYS PUCKERED UP AS THOUGH A LUMP OF OVER RIPE CAMEMBERT WAS DANGLING FROM IT.
SCROOGE KNEW THAT THESE VSCC KILLJOYS WOULD BE OUT IN FULL FORCE THE NIGHT OF THE BENTLEYLAND CHRISTMAS PARTY AND HATCHED OUT A CUNNING PLAN TO THWART THESE JOKERS.
THE DAY OF THE CHRISTMAS PARTY ARRIVED AND SCROOGE`S RATHER WELL DEVELOPED BLOWER CREATION WAS BEING WASHED AND CLEANED READY TO PULL AN ANTIQUE SLEIGH FULL OF PRESENTS THAT WERE TO BE HANDED OUT TO THE CHILDREN AT THE PARTY.
WHAT A SPECTACLE THE BENTLEY MADE WITH SCROOGE AND HIS WIFE DECKED OUT IN SANTA OUTFITS SITTING IN THE FRONT SEATS AND THREE GORGEOUS ELVES PLAYED BY THE PRETTIEST GIRLS IN BENTLEYLAND, INCLUDING POPPY, WEARING THE USUAL ELF OUTFIT OF GREEN HAT AND TIGHTS AND GREEN SMOCKS WHICH HAD BEEN CUT RATHER SHORT, THEY SAT IN THE REAR SEAT. TINY TIM HAD RIGGED UP A TOWING BAR ON THE BACK OF THE BENT AND THE SLEIGH PILED UP WITH PRESENTS WAS ATTACHED TO IT. THE SLEIGH HAD BEEN EQUIPPED WITH SMALL WHEELS IN CASE THERE WAS NO SNOW.
WHAT A SPECTACLE THE BENTLEY MADE WITH SCROOGE AND HIS WIFE DECKED OUT IN SANTA OUTFITS SITTING IN THE FRONT SEATS AND THREE GORGEOUS ELVES PLAYED BY THE PRETTIEST GIRLS IN BENTLEYLAND, INCLUDING POPPY, WEARING THE USUAL ELF OUTFIT OF GREEN HAT AND TIGHTS AND GREEN SMOCKS WHICH HAD BEEN CUT RATHER SHORT, THEY SAT IN THE REAR SEAT. TINY TIM HAD RIGGED UP A TOWING BAR ON THE BACK OF THE BENT AND THE SLEIGH PILED UP WITH PRESENTS WAS ATTACHED TO IT. THE SLEIGH HAD BEEN EQUIPPED WITH SMALL WHEELS IN CASE THERE WAS NO SNOW.
THE CAVALCADE OF CARS, LED BY SCROOGE IN THE BLOWER, SLOWLY DROVE THROUGH THE NARROW THATCHED COTTAGE LINED STREETS OF BENTLEYLAND, HEADING FOR THE COMMUNITY CENTRE WHERE THE PARTY WAS TO TAKE PLACE. HEAVY SNOW HAD BEEN FALLING SINCE THE MORNING ADDING TO THE MAGIC OF THE OCCASION. EXCITED LITTLE CHILDREN PEERING OUT THROUGH THE COTTAGE WINDOWS WAVED TO THE CARS AND OCCUPANTS. A FEW MINUTES LATER, AS EXPECTED, WHEN SCROOGE DROVE ROUND A CORNER A VSCC ROADBLOCK CAME INTO VIEW. THE HI VIZ JACKETED OFFICERS FLASHED BEAMS OF LIGHT FROM THEIR WOOTON LANTERNS INDICATING THAT SCROOGE WAS TO STOP HIS CAR..
SNYDE-WILKINS, WHO WAS SUPERVISING THE ROAD BLOCK,, STARTED TO INSPECT THE BLOWER AND SAID TO SCROOGE THAT THIS WAS NOT AN ORIGINAL FITMENT TO THE CAR. SCROOGE PRETENDED TO BE SURPRISED AND SAID THAT IT WAS NOT A BLOWER BUT A WINE COOLER AND DIDN`T HE KNOW THAT THIS WAS FITTED AS A FACTORY ACCESSORY BY SOME CUSTOMERS! SNYDE-WILKINS GAVE ONE OF HIS CACKLING LAUGHS AND TOLD SCROOGE TO PULL OVER SO THAT THE VSCC TEAM COULD REMOVE IT. IN A LOUD VOICE SCROOGE TOLD SNYDE-WILKINS TO WAIT, GO ROUND TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR AND TURN THE SMALL TAP UNDER THE BLOWER CASING. AS SNYDE-WILKINS WENT AROUND TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR SCROOGE TURNED THE ENGINE NOISE KNOB TO MAXIMUM. THE INSTANTANEOUS EFFECT WAS THAT SNYDE-WILKINS GAVE A SHRIEK AND DIVED UNDER THE VSCC 30/98 WHICH HAD BEEN LOWERED AS PART OF THE PERFORMANCE ENHANCING PACKAGE SO THAT HE BECAME JAMMED THERE.
SNYDE-WILKINS, WHO WAS SUPERVISING THE ROAD BLOCK,, STARTED TO INSPECT THE BLOWER AND SAID TO SCROOGE THAT THIS WAS NOT AN ORIGINAL FITMENT TO THE CAR. SCROOGE PRETENDED TO BE SURPRISED AND SAID THAT IT WAS NOT A BLOWER BUT A WINE COOLER AND DIDN`T HE KNOW THAT THIS WAS FITTED AS A FACTORY ACCESSORY BY SOME CUSTOMERS! SNYDE-WILKINS GAVE ONE OF HIS CACKLING LAUGHS AND TOLD SCROOGE TO PULL OVER SO THAT THE VSCC TEAM COULD REMOVE IT. IN A LOUD VOICE SCROOGE TOLD SNYDE-WILKINS TO WAIT, GO ROUND TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR AND TURN THE SMALL TAP UNDER THE BLOWER CASING. AS SNYDE-WILKINS WENT AROUND TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR SCROOGE TURNED THE ENGINE NOISE KNOB TO MAXIMUM. THE INSTANTANEOUS EFFECT WAS THAT SNYDE-WILKINS GAVE A SHRIEK AND DIVED UNDER THE VSCC 30/98 WHICH HAD BEEN LOWERED AS PART OF THE PERFORMANCE ENHANCING PACKAGE SO THAT HE BECAME JAMMED THERE.
SCROOGE ACCELERATED OFF AND QUICKLY ARRIVED AT THE COMMUNITY CENTRE AND DROVE THE BLOWER AND SLEIGH STRAIGHT THROUGH THE OPEN DOORS INTO THE BUILDING WHERE REACHING DOWN HE TURNED THE BODY COLOUR KNOB TO THE DISCO LIGHTS POSITION. BOB SCRATCHIT WAS WEARING HIS DJ OUTFIT AND STARTED PLAYING CHRISTMAS CAROLS AT THE DISCO MACHINE.
WITHIN A FEW MINUTES SNYDE-WILKINS AND HIS VSCC COHORT HAD ARRIVED AT THE CENTRE THE 30/98`S SKIDDING ALL OVER THE PLACE AS THEY TRIED TO BRAKE IN THE ICY SNOW BUT SCROOGE HAD ARRANGED A RECEPTION FOR THEM. TINY TIM LED A CHARGE OF CHILDREN WHO PELTED THE VSCC WITH A HAIL OF SNOWBALLS AS THEY ALIGHTED, FORCING THEM TO RETREAT. MEANWHILE ANOTHER GROUP OF CHILDREN SHOVELED SNOW INTO THE 30/98`S TO MAKE THEM UNDRIVABLE.
THE UPSHOT OF IT ALL WAS THAT THE VSCC GROUP ENDED UP ON THEIR KNEES, HANDS IN THE AIR, COWERING UNDER THE BARRAGE OF SNOWBALLS. THE CHILDREN TOOK THEM PRISONER AND THEY WERE LED INTO THE CENTRE TO BE CLEANED UP. THEIR SOGGY OUTER GARMENTS WERE REMOVED TO REVEAL SOME VERY COLOURFUL UNDERWEAR. SNYDE-WILKINS WAS IN TEARS AND TREMBLING UNCONTROLLABLY FROM THE COLD BUT AFTER A FEW GLASSES OF THE CHRISTMAS PUNCH HIS ATTITUDE STARTED TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER AND HE STARTED SINGING ALONG WITH THE CAROLS.
WITHIN A FEW MINUTES SNYDE-WILKINS AND HIS VSCC COHORT HAD ARRIVED AT THE CENTRE THE 30/98`S SKIDDING ALL OVER THE PLACE AS THEY TRIED TO BRAKE IN THE ICY SNOW BUT SCROOGE HAD ARRANGED A RECEPTION FOR THEM. TINY TIM LED A CHARGE OF CHILDREN WHO PELTED THE VSCC WITH A HAIL OF SNOWBALLS AS THEY ALIGHTED, FORCING THEM TO RETREAT. MEANWHILE ANOTHER GROUP OF CHILDREN SHOVELED SNOW INTO THE 30/98`S TO MAKE THEM UNDRIVABLE.
THE UPSHOT OF IT ALL WAS THAT THE VSCC GROUP ENDED UP ON THEIR KNEES, HANDS IN THE AIR, COWERING UNDER THE BARRAGE OF SNOWBALLS. THE CHILDREN TOOK THEM PRISONER AND THEY WERE LED INTO THE CENTRE TO BE CLEANED UP. THEIR SOGGY OUTER GARMENTS WERE REMOVED TO REVEAL SOME VERY COLOURFUL UNDERWEAR. SNYDE-WILKINS WAS IN TEARS AND TREMBLING UNCONTROLLABLY FROM THE COLD BUT AFTER A FEW GLASSES OF THE CHRISTMAS PUNCH HIS ATTITUDE STARTED TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER AND HE STARTED SINGING ALONG WITH THE CAROLS.
SCROOGE COMMENCED TO DISTRIBUTE THE PRESENTS TO THE EAGER CHILDREN, WHILE THE ELVES DISTRIBUTED MORE DRINKS TO THE VSCC GROUP, TINY TIM TOOK SOME INTERESTING PHOTOS OF SNYDE-WILKINS WITH HIS ARMS AROUND THE LEGGY ELF SITTING ON HIS LAP.
WHAT A GREAT PARTY IT WAS, THE BEST FOR YEARS BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A DOWNSIDE TO SUCH REVELRY, SOME OF THE PARENTS WERE IN AN ALCOHOLIC TRANCE AND BOB SCRATCHIT WAS SLUMPED OVER THE DISCO MACHINE IN A STUPOR. THE VSCC WERE TAKEN AWAY IN A TAXI AND SCROOGE WAS SITTING IN THE BLOWER WITH A LARGE WHISKY IN HIS HAND, CHUCKLING AS HE CONGRATULATED HIMSELF ON A VICTORY OVER THE VSCC. THOSE PHOTOS WOULD ENSURE THAT SNYDE-WILKINS WOULD BE POWERLESS TO TAKE ANY ACTION OVER WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
RAISING HIS GLASS HE REPEATED TINY TIM`S IMMORTAL WORDS "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYBODY" THOSE THAT WERE STILL CONCIOUS RAISED THEIR GLASSES TO TO THE TOAST.
WHAT A GREAT PARTY IT WAS, THE BEST FOR YEARS BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A DOWNSIDE TO SUCH REVELRY, SOME OF THE PARENTS WERE IN AN ALCOHOLIC TRANCE AND BOB SCRATCHIT WAS SLUMPED OVER THE DISCO MACHINE IN A STUPOR. THE VSCC WERE TAKEN AWAY IN A TAXI AND SCROOGE WAS SITTING IN THE BLOWER WITH A LARGE WHISKY IN HIS HAND, CHUCKLING AS HE CONGRATULATED HIMSELF ON A VICTORY OVER THE VSCC. THOSE PHOTOS WOULD ENSURE THAT SNYDE-WILKINS WOULD BE POWERLESS TO TAKE ANY ACTION OVER WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
RAISING HIS GLASS HE REPEATED TINY TIM`S IMMORTAL WORDS "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYBODY" THOSE THAT WERE STILL CONCIOUS RAISED THEIR GLASSES TO TO THE TOAST.